I dont Eat Poop

This is my website, its flipping sweet. Sorry for the delay I know everybody has been aching to see what fun stuff I will come up with next. Have a look around, but don’t tell your mama 😉

Journal Entry 8/30/23

These women were looking at me through the screen… AND I SWEAR TO YOU AND I MEAN I ONLY AM ATTRACTED TO EMO, EBONY, GOTH GODDESSES. SO PLEASE TEXT ME IF YOU MEET THOSE REQUIREMENTS (also you must be boyfriend-free, 17-18, smoke-free, non-alcoholic and A TRUE SWEETHEART). Please ebony babes I am in desperate need of  a TRUE SWEETHEART, and must also be a true babe. I have lived my life for long enough as a true and honest high-functioning autistic male. I am also the mayor of CWCville and everything there in; I take care of my mayoral duties via my Nintendo DS. My whole life I have been working on my Lovequest and yet I am still stuck as a virgin with rage. There is nothing that can quell the eternal flame of my autistic virginity-based rage. I cannot take it anymore, my duck is also extremely bent (I say duck because saying the D-I-C-K word makes me more gay which I am not) I hate being stuck in this sad lonely cage. I do not want to have to be so desperate as to hire a prostitute for $100. I have been tricked several times by trolls on the internet, many have pretended to be boyfriend-free women who appeared to be attracted to me. However, they extorted nude pictures out of me and then proceeded to blackmail me with said pictures. These gay teenage boys who troll me are simply unintelligent. I AM NOT GOING TO KILL MYSELF. These trolls have called me homosexual, WHICH I AM NOT. So to counter these trolls attacks I drew pictures of me having sex with women, pacifically glorious, beautiful, hot ebony, emo, goth, vagina-having ebony baby darlings. The struggles I go through on a daily basis without an HEEGG is absolutely unbearable. I seriously think there must be a conspiracy against me. At night I see people following me. I feel as though they can read my thoughts. How did they know I would be walking north on 14 at 1:53 am on November 13 2009. This is unbelievable. I will continue journaling. Though if women like these keep looking at me through the computer screen, I don’t know how long I have left.

I am the GRAND WIZARD!

 I can cast spells with my all powerful mana. I can cast several destructive spells against anyone who defies me and my quest to find my true sweetheart. I can cast Several spells which you can read up on. I have watched soooo much Hairy Potter films and I know I could defeat he who shall not be named. My favorite spell to cast is the gay spell (not for any particular reason). I have trained for many years to be a wizard. I have learned several spells which I only use when I am in serious danger (or when I am feeling frisky). Some of the other spells I can cast are a horny spell, bad B-word spell, the Asperger’s spell and its more powerful version, the severe autism spell which I have only cast on a few targets (including myself). Finally I’m sure your favorite spell.. the make an AWESOME WEBSITE SPELL, which I admit is kind of cheating as web developer, but I mean if I’m a totally powerful wizard I might as well use my powers to make a super dope website.

 

 

Below I have included a description of a few spells as well as the subject (or victim) both before, and after the grand wizard has cast his spell. 

 

Love Spell

I only use this spell on emo, ebony, goth, goddesses as these are the true baby darlings of the world. I simply cannot understand why anyone wouldn’t want to be dominated by an emo, ebony, goth goddess. Regardless of race, ethnicity, gender, or even sexual orientation. EVERYBODY needs to be put in their place by an emo ebony goth goddess. Also, to answer the question I’m sure is on everybody’s minds… NO I AM NOT PROJECTING OR TRYING TO NORMALIZE/RATIONALIZE MY OWN TWISTED DESIRES!

Gay Spell

This spell might be my favorite of the bunch (not for any particular reason of course) it allows me to turn anyone gay and that’s awesome. BUT, only because it is FUNNY NOT BECAUSE I HAVE REPRESSED DESIRES! Anyway this spell is funny, that’s why it is my favorite…not for any other reason at all, despite what haters might say I am as straight as they cum (hehe).

Horny Spell

This spell I have seldom used. I imagine I would mostly use this spell to get my future sweetheart in the mood (who hopefully is an emo ebony goth goddess). I also use this spell to make my bullies do an icky in their pants. This is hilarious because its HIM NOT ME HIM NOT ME. It’s also fun to laugh in their face and go “ahahhahahahah you did an icky splicky in you pants hehe!”

Asperger's Spell

This spell has several victims, the most notable of which is my father. This spell has debilitated Dodd Mohr with a highly infectious disease. Asperger’s is a chronic disease and has claimed several lives and devastated the nation of Islam. This is an extremely tragic spell possibly the most cruel of the spells within my ancient tome.

Bad B-Word Spell

This spell is totally awesome, and it turns me into a horn dog just talking about it. I love this spell, as it turns the subject into a hot, emo, ebony, goth, goddess [HEEGG]. Everyone needs a HEEGG in their life. Without a HEEGG I would be stuck as a virgin with rage. So this spell is extremely useful in situations where someone may be without an emo ebony goddess

HEEGG

Severe Austim Spell

This spell transforms the subject into the mayor of CWCville, and the subject suddenly gets the urge to procreate with their own mother. Additionally, the subject may experience a transformation into an electric hedgehog-like creature. This transformation will cause the subject to draw what is referred to as the “Sonichu” comics. The subject may experience internet “trolling” and will vehemently defend their supposed heterosexuality.

My Accolades

Boners
+
Aborted Fetuses
Gay Men Converted
.5
Suicide Rate
99. %

Dodd Mohr's Suite Life

Here are a few example of Dodd’s travels.

Dodd During 9/11

Where were you on September 11th, 2001? Well, Dodd Mohr was scooting around New York City.

Dodd at Auschwitz

Considering what happened here, I personally don’t think smiling is appropriate. 

Dodd Meets with the Allies

Ok this is pretty sweet. This is after Dodd totally kicked some NAZI BUTT1

Are you a women who lives in constant fear of little perverts?

Don’t worry, I can totally help with that. Simply click the link and send me all  your personal information. Social security, date of birth, personal phone number, email, address of residency, bank login information with security questions and cup size are all expected. This way I can protect you from those naughty perverts (full body nudes are optional).

I DO NOT EAT FRICKING POOOOOOOOP

Please man you have to believe that I would never enjoy the sensation of sloppy, creamy and wet diarrhea making its way through my supple little body.

Why these claims are simply preposterous

I mean come on dude


That's Just Gross

All Possible Evidence Is Either Doctored or Fabricated


Just Use Common Sense

What Many People Are saying

DUDE THESE ARE NOT FAKE, WHY WOULD YOU EVEN SAY THAT!

I have met with this young man after signing up for his pervert protection program. I can no tell you first hand that there is no way on God's green Earth that this handsome fellow has ever ingested feces.
Annie Franklin
bennodefdoesn'teatpoop.com - Founder
Alright, Benno is the greatest man I have ever met. We were talking in a bar when he told me that he got his PhD in feminism. It was so astonishing to hear that, so obviously I immediately took him back to my apartment and had the greatest sex of my life. He lasted for SIX HOURS! Oh and also he probably doesn't eat poop.
Tracy Stewart
iknowbennodoesnteatpoop.net - CEO
Benno was my instructor for my Talking to Women 101 class. He helped me get 812.5 (one of them was technically a man, but who's counting?) dates within a month. It was totally sweet. I can say with certainty that Benno definitely say he does not eat dookie.
Brian Jackson
nowaybennoeatspoop.edu - Editor